im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
