just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
