Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
