I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
All the doctor said was why
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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