your room smells of hookers.
And success
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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