Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
