chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
