Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
