I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
