whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
