One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
