"it" just moved
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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