so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The struggles of a small town man whore
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
