he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Randomize
