Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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