help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
