in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
