Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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