I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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