After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
