Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
