Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
only if we run a train.
done.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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