but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
