you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
