it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
