Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
This is not my ceiling
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you would pick up someone in the library
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
