hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Holy sore nipples Batman
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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