I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
