so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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