I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
