it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
