I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
