it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
