R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
