Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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