He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
