Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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