My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
