At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
