Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
