Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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