Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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