That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
