just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
