yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
