just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
