Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i came on her dog
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
