Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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