Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
