i love accidental penises.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
