WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
