Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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