Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
