you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
