I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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