the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
