Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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