put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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