For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
