at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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