On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
