Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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