I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
