BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
