Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
