I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
