Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
