I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
