Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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