i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
