Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
