Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
