Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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