I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
