I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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