Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
