Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
