she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
