i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
