so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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