1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
