They should really pass out barf bags in church
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
