ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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