just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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