thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
