How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
