Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
