what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
