I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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