So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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