ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
