dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize